May 3rd, 2006
The Bad Film Club
Ever been puzzled by why some much-heralded films are actually utter crap or pretentious waffle? An article in today’s Guardian points to the Bad Film Club set up by two comedians in Wales to show awful, over-hyped, criticially-acclaimed-but-in-reality-woeful films.
Stuart Lee, who wrote the piece, was inspired by witnessing first hand the post-premiere response to the hideous strip-flick Showgirls which was universally panned.
I’ve seen my fair share of bad movies - especially ones that have been hyped or bigged up by critics - so if I had to make a screening suggestion, could we please, please make sure Elizabethtown is in there? Also Million Dollar Baby (I get scratchy even thinking about it) and the simplistic, condescending ‘race film’ that is Crash.
Over on the paper’s Culture Vulture blog, Xan Brooks says that Wings of Desire (one of my favourite films, and the last decent film Wim Wenders made) is one of his most hated. Reader nominations on the blog include: 2001: A Space Odyssey, Graffiti Bridge, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Motorcycle Diaries, Moulin Rouge, The Godfather trilogy (!), the Star Wars prequels, Dune, Drowning by Numbers, Black Hawk Down, Lord of the Rings, Lost in Translation and many more.
Ever had someone rave about a dud movie to you? Or read lots of ‘rave reviews’ that propel you to the cinema only to realise afterwards you’ll never get your tenner - or those two hours - back?
Share your pain…
May 3rd, 2006 at 5:27 pm
2001: A Space Odyssey was the most boring movie I’ve ever watched. Although it did give a good insight into what the world and beyond would look like if Apple Mac got into interior design.
May 3rd, 2006 at 5:52 pm
I am not alone someone else thought crash was crap. woohoo
May 3rd, 2006 at 5:56 pm
I’ve never seen the whole lot of 2001, but what I’ve seen is indeed very boring (I’ve fallen asleep twice watching it).
Simon, Crash is such an under-whelming piece of film. Any of the other Best film nominees this year outdid it.
May 3rd, 2006 at 6:19 pm
You are dead right about Crash, but whoever nominated the Godfather is just looking for attention.
May 3rd, 2006 at 6:46 pm
I am going to have to give a big mention to the original 3 Star Wars films. They were probably the highlight of my film going childhood. Then I got the boxed set DVDs recently and rewatched them. They are awful. The actors are generally all right but the story lines are daft, the dialogue is cringe inducing, they throw all sense and logic out the window while mocking the intelligence of the viewers.
People complain the three recent prequels were bad, but they weren’t a million miles away from the first three.
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:38 pm
Can I add a few more? Speed, HHGTTG, Taxi Driver and There’s Something about Mary.
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:50 pm
Colm, I’m with you on the first two, but Taxi Driver? No way! It’s a classic.
There’s Something About Mary really made me laugh, but I think Ben Stiller has been milking the bejaysus out of that formula for way too long now.
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:56 pm
Road to Perdition and Pret a Porter are two definite duds. The latter being the only movie that I was too comatosed to actually walk out off. I fell asleep but what I say was painful. The former sets off a whole issue thing I have with the guys in The Ticket but I’ll save that for my blog ‘cos it might be a little close to home!
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Anyone see L’Enfant? I saw it about 2 months ago, after reading a flattering, and therefore rather misleading, article in The Ticket. I don’t have any problen with gritty realist pieces; they’re often quite affecting. This one though was boring, unengaging and was without any shimmer of light or hope.
However, must inquire as to Lost in Translation’s place in the above list. I love that film, and in the last week or so, have watched it about 7 times. It’s like Annie Hall, in that I go through extreme phases of watching it.
What about The Constant Gardiner? My experience of it is limited to half-hour patches of religion class movie time, and that I couldn’t hear much of it. Still, it looks just a bit shite.
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:33 pm
And no, The Constant Gardiner is not a terribly cheap remake or plagarism of The Constant Gardener. I just can’t spell these days, which is slightly worrying.
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:49 pm
Paige - Pret A Porter was such a waste of celluloid. Totally pointless - and worse still that it’s a Robert Altman film.
Kevin - I really liked Lost in Translation too (I remember you blogging about it). As for The Constant Gardener, I posted before about how the book was mind-numbingly dull but that I enjoyed the film.
As for The Ticket (or any reviewing really), every reviewer takes the approach of trying to be objective about what they’re reviewing while backing up their opinion with relevant knowledge and references. I always think that there’s no right or wrong opinion, just opinions. If someone doesn’t agree with a review (it happens to all of us, reader and reviewer alike), it’s merely a difference of opinion that each party is entitled to. In fact, I’d be worried if I agreed with every single review by one specific reviewer.
I’ve got a review in the Ticket this Friday of Grandaddy’s album and no doubt someone will want to lynch me for saying that as they’ve split up, they should try and make it as ELO covers band.
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:01 pm
F-ing King Kong. All the reviews I heard and read went absolutely ga-ga over it, so me and spouse went to see it. Big gorilla vs. a dinosaur. Then two dinosaurs. Then THREE dinosaurs. Then man-eating worms! What a letdown, although totally redeemed by spouse who said on the way out, “Man, that shit didn’t happen!”
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:18 pm
How true Melinda! I paid a lot of NZ dollars to see King Kong. And apart from some nifty action scenes, the whole beauty and the beast thing made me want to vomit on the plush seat I had my arse planted on.
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:31 pm
One thing I find is that rave reviews increase expectations, and you go along to a film expecting it to be something that it isn’t. I’m glad that Sinéad and Kevin both got (and continue to get) something out of Lost in Translation, even though I thought it was one of the most tedious films I ever sat through. Maybe I should watch it again with no reviews in mind.
About Schmidt was another one that bored me to tears.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:25 pm
Sinéad,
If I’d considered what I was writing, I would have changed the word “misleading”, as it does seem to imply that my opinion is the only acceptable view. And apropos The Constant Gardener, I really should rent it or something. I see you’ve put it in the same catagory as City of God, which I did quite enjoy. I’ll make a point of reading the The Ticket this Friday; in recent weeks, I’ve been very bold, choosing to see films independent of any review. Imagine that! C.R.A.Z.Y wasn’t bad, and Squid was the best I’ve seen this year.
Gerry,
Perhaps it’s two different approaches to the silences littered throughout both Lost in Translation and About Schmidt. I think they’re fundamental to the very message of Lost in Translation, but also capture “moments in time” and, I suppose, allow time for people to reflect on the story’s subject, and wider theme. Of course, there’s a thin line between effectively utlised silences and prententiousness, but I think both films succeed in staying onside - if at times only just. Schmidt is not a favourite of mine, but I rather liked the steady tone of Jack Nicholson’s narrative.
An asides to Sinéad; I’ve just clicked onto Grandaddy’s website - for I, ever unashamedly unhip - was unaware of such a band’s existence. Rearview Mirror started playing, and although it has progressed beyond this, the start sounded quite like some of the Lost in Translation music - which I, of course, liked.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:55 pm
I was very, very underwhelmed by Lost in Translation. I expected so much, I got so little. Fucking Scarlet Johansson and her montone. I really liked her in Ghost World, but then, I was just so delighted that the film of Ghost World was actually good that maybe I wasn’t being critical enough.
Showgirls, however, firmly belongs in the “so bad it’s totally hilarious and entertaining” camp, along with such varied treats as Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, The Postman and of course R. Kelly’s ‘Trapped in the Closet’.
May 4th, 2006 at 8:45 am
I really enjoyed King Kong (nothing to do with salivating over Adrien Brody on the junket) and I actually didn’t notice how long it was when I saw it. That said, there were too many creatures/bugs/things to fight off and it did get a little tedious for that reason alone.
Gerry - totally agree about the ‘rave’ elements of reviews. People think they’re getting a dead cert in terms of enjoyment/brilliance/a classic when people start dishing out five stars too willy-nilly.
Kevin - whoa! The Constant Gardener is nowhere NEAR City of God - I mentioned them in the same sentence because they’re by the same director (Fernando Meirelles). City of God is an amazing film, CoG is just good.
Re: Grandaddy - I like quite a good bit of stuff from their past, but the review this week explains the problems I have with this album (I like Rearview Mirror). Won’t say anymore!
Stellanova, no one likes high camp as much as me, but Showgirls was just so terrible. If it had done camp well, I’d have liked it even a little bit.
Haven’t seen Ghostworld but I cannot handle Scarlett Johannson. Simply put, she can’t act and has no range beyond that monotone.
There’s an R. Kelly film? Oh yes! Would love to see that…
May 4th, 2006 at 9:01 am
Million Dollar Baby was one of the most overrated films ever. It was so full of boxing clichés and sports movie stereotypes. And why exactly was Clint Eastwood’s character reading WB Yeats poetry in Irish?
Also, Lost in Translation was just plain boring.
Haven’t seen Crash yet, and I don’t think I’ll bother. Maybe if it shows up on tv I’ll give it a go.
May 4th, 2006 at 9:02 am
There’s an R. Kelly film? Oh yes! Would love to see that…
Well, it’s not technically a film, but it’s a 12 part “hip-hopera” which….well, it has to be seen to be believed. And you can do so - there are links to every part of the entire dreadful thing here. It’s possibly the maddest thing I’ve ever seen. Very funny, though.
May 4th, 2006 at 9:25 am
Ok, have thought of some more, particularly ones that were sold to me as the best thing ever but in fact were dogdy/boring/massively over-rated:
Soylent Green
Dodgeball
Most Woody Allen films after Mighty Aphrodite
Closer (can’t believe I didn’t mention this in the initial post)
Most remakes
Enough off the bad stuff, The New York Times has a fairly comprehensive list of 1000 best films of all time
May 4th, 2006 at 11:33 am
It’s hard for me to think of anything in this vein other than Crash, it looms so large in recent memory as to obscure everything else in this category. Did it really receive wide and exceptional positive critical opinion though?
Of other films mentioned above, I guess there is a case for Million Dollar Baby. However just because something wins an Oscar surely nobody would take that as a barometer of objective critical acclaim?
Two movies mentioned above which are pretty revered among critics, 2001 and Lost in Translation, I think it’s interesting both of these are being mentioned in this topic. Both movies have something in common in terms of the sparsity of the experience. I loved both of them though!
May 4th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Loved “Lost in Translation”, except that it put me off Tokyo for life. I found the third and final part of “Lord Of The Rings” boring because it didn’t dwell enough on the internal struggle, and put too much on the external battle. Fantastic graphics only take me so far.
May 4th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Very funny, though.
Agree entirely. The dramatics of it all, the cliffhangers and the reptetion of random words! Midget, midget, midget! R.Kelly’s poet technique is superb; he rhymes “around” with “around and around” at one stage, which I thought was an exquisite move, really sticking it to the poetic establishment.
May 4th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Glad someone else has seen through Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But Dune & Soylent Green are brilliant, well I love ‘em anyway. At the risk of sounding like a wanker, I caught the re-released 2001 (in 2001 natch) on the big screen and it looked absolutely stunning… script was the same though.
For a much lauded pile of poo, look no further than the over designed, appalingly edited, badly acted, 2 hour souped-up shit pop video that is Moulin Rouge. Baz Luhrmann is all style over substance. Oh wait, he’s no style either…
May 4th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Gosh, I’m so cinematically stunted! I haven’t seen Lost in Translation, King Kong, Closer, Star Wars, Crash, Million Dollar Baby, Closer - the only film I want to see mentioned is Elizabethtown, and that’s because My Morning Jacket play live in it.
Can I add Mary Poppins to the list? Only saw it a few years ago after all the hype (decades of hype, but I only experienced word-of-mouth reviews from people in national school).
May 4th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
I was naive enough to actually believe that Walk the Line was the memorable piece of cinema that some people over here were hailing it as. The other evening I stared in complete bewilderment at the screen at this simplified, over-sentimentalised snapshot of a life that was most definitely not that of Johnny Cash. Phoenix was lauded time and time again here for his performance, but he (and the script) made Cash look like a spineless weed, with far too many anachronistic new-man revelations built in. At times it looked more like a biopic of someone like Will Young…all weeping and gazing and building new bridges. VOMIT. I can’t believe I fell for the hype. I should have known better after the catastrophe of cliche and insult that was Crash.
May 4th, 2006 at 5:25 pm
#
R.Kelly’s poet technique is superb; he rhymes “around� with “around and around� at one stage, which I thought was an exquisite move, really sticking it to the poetic establishment.
# Martin
Yes, R’s rhyming skills truly are unique. I like the way he manages to rhyme “closet” with “closet” about twelve times in one verse.
I think, however, that my favourite line has to be the dramatic climax of one of the earlier parts: “it was Rosie, the nosy neighbour…..holding a spatulaaaaaaa!” That or “the midget was the baby’s….daddy!” Too many magnificent lines to choose from, really.
May 5th, 2006 at 10:54 am
King Kong- dire, over long, over-blown and it if hadn’t been for Brody I would have taken it upon myself to poke my own eyes out, Monkey see Monkey do Monkey suck.
Crash- lecture lecture, moral bupkis. Fuck off, I don’t need Hollyweird to lecture me, I have a bloody mother and older sisters thank you very much and they’re doing a sterling job.
Million Dollar Baby- dang y’all. Think this here liddle ‘ol moodyboody filum’s gonna have itself a happy endin’ or whut? Nope, it surely didn’t, caint say I was surprised, weren’t you Skeeter? Nope, Skeepter weren’t surprised neither.
Elizabethtown- like drowning in a vat of treacle only to escape and fall into another vat of honey, only to escape that and fall into one of thos candy floss machine wherein I gave up and almost died of sheer ickiness.
I didn’t mind TLOTR, but the eighteen hour ending almost did me in, all that slow mo juping of Hobbits and grinning and gurning reminded me of an acid party I once attended. Only there wasn’t any bending walls or floating Guinness signs with wings at the cinema, which was a shame.
May 5th, 2006 at 11:44 am
About Schmidt?
Depressing Schidt.
May 5th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Another one is Prime, that’s out next week.
Nauseating chick flick rom com thing with Uma Thurman has an older woman dating a younger guy. Her age? 37…
May 5th, 2006 at 8:04 pm
Million Dollar Baby!?!
You are aware that Clint Eastwood (i.e. the greatest man in recorded history) both directed and starred in that film, aren’t you?
May 6th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
while we’re on clint eastwood - has anyone mentioned “mystic river”? tim robins is grand, but apart from that, jaysus, this one is to be avoided at all costs. dreadful. he may have been a unique actor, but…..
May 7th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Cian, much as we all love and respect the likes of Josey Wales, Pale Rider and Play Misty for Me, Clint is hardly inafalible. Let’s not forget his, er, finest hour has in Mario van Peebles shite fest Heartbreak Ridge.
2001 is an excellent flick. I hope people aren’t confusing “hard work” with “boring and overrated”.
Dune also rocks.
May 8th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
No one mentioned American Beauty- watched it over the weekend to try to figure out what i’d missed first time around: nothing apparently. The grotesque characterisations (especially of the wife) were still in place; the direction that didn’t yield anything new on re-watching (would it have been any different at all on stage?); the bag in wind bit is critic-proof in that it’s almost beyond parody but let’s be honest- it’s hardly Denis Johnson.
I’m going to assume that Good Will Hunting is too easy a target here.
On the Grandaddy bit- there was one great album and they just seemed to drift ever since- but ELO? Well, OK- point taken.
May 9th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Million Dollar Baby gets my vote - such schlock isn’t even as good as most made for TV movies. HORRENDOUS.
King Kong was too long (I rhymed) and it took AGES for Kong to actually appear - SHOW ME THE MONKEY!!!!
Mystic River has the distinction of having the worst score in cinematic history. Clint you can act, you can direct, but leave the music alone, OK? Enough is enough….
May 11th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
well I haven’t seen Mystic River, but Clint’s musical chops/taste is totally not in question. Play Misty for Me is a walk through his love affair with jazz (and a crazy stabby woman). And he’s a great pianist. And let’s not forget his turn in Paint Your Wagon…Gold Fever hooked am I. I talk to the trees. Was there ever the beat of it?
July 20th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
what a bunch of sad whinging assholes… ye should all gather in one room with an honourary oscar for the most depressed.. chill out
October 17th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
Clint’s new movie, Iwo Jima, looks like a real winner also. The cinematography looks spectacular! And I heard he is making 2 versions of the movie, one from the US and the other from the Japanese perspective. If that is true, I love the idea, it’s brilliant!
October 17th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Do you think he’ll pick up another Best Director Oscar for it next year?
February 28th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Nope…….
February 28th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Maybe that needs more of this: