January 6th, 2008
“Bring Back the red-blooded bitch”
Taking film as a fulcrum to pivot her argument around, Julie Burchill is spot on in many things she says in an article titled “Bring Back the red-blooded bitch”. She laments the loss of good bitching, something she believes is not about women criticising other women for their choices, because “envy isn’t what creates a classic bitch - who never feels threatened, and always feels superior”.
She particularly rails against women in media happy to put the boot into other women in the public eye:
“Of course, it is easy to feel sorry, if you are the sort of sad-sack who needs to boost her self-esteem that way, for a bald Britney burning her bridges and losing her babies or a crazed Kerry gurning her way through GMTV. It is when the Wahs pretend to feel sorry for young women of great talent, such as Amy Winehouse, great beauty, such as Kate Moss, or great attractiveness to men, such as Lindsay Lohan, that the green-eye glitters through the fog of fake tears. Nigella-envy, the source of much sub-standard bitchiness these days, is a uniquely interesting syndrome; envied for her presumed poshness, her undoubted wealth and - just to throw the Wahs into a frenzy of confusion - her thoroughly guilt-free chav-like love of junk food, fast food and sweet food, and fearlessness of growing fat. When she unveiled her Coca-Cola-cooked ham a few years back, you could hear the sound of scandalised yummy mummies having kittens in every organic cafe in Greater London.”
But this kind of schadenfraude is not reserved for journalists, or indeed celebrities.
“Career girls dissing working mothers for taking time off, stay-at-home mothers slating working mothers for having a bit of get-up-and-go, smug marrieds pitying self-possessed singletons, fat girl fems slating skinny girls in the name of sisterhood - welcome to the post-feminist Tower of Babel.”
Women in Hollywood of old knew how to deliver a killer brickbat, and Burchill cites The Women, All About Eve and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, rounding up some put down gold.
Burchill, no stranger to spats and slanging matches herself, omits one of favourite digs, said by Bette Davis about her acting nemesis Joan Crawford:
“She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.”
Ouch.
And if you ever need a quick Burchill fix, be sure to check out the Julie Burchill Random Recycler
January 6th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I hate Julie Burchill’s hypocritical, racist, self-aggrandising self so much that even the news that she loves The Women, one of my favourite films ever (Joan Crawford’s satin-curtained bath! The fashion show, complete with monkeys in miniature versions of the outfits! Rosalind Russell knitting! Rosalind Russell doing just about anything! What’s not to love?), does nothing to endear her to me. I love how she’s always (rightly) slagging off the Mail, as in that piece, without saying that she had a column for the Mail on Sunday for years during the ’80s (where she fit right in, the reactionary old bag, and where she still would). Almost all her columns can be summed up like so:
“Despite living in a vast mansion in Brighton, I am and always will be the most working-class person in the world. The Irish and all continental Europeans are stupid and funny. Romanies are all thieves and beggars. Muslims are all terrorists. I am the greatest writer ever. I was once the most gorgeous woman in the country. I am a genius and always right, even though I contradict myself constantly and am a huge hypocrite. In conclusion, hooray for me! The end.”
I do love the Burchill generator, though.
January 9th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Thought Bette Davis was wrong about Lassie, but it turns out she was right…
‘All collies playing Lassie have been male, playing a female dog. The female collie loses her coat at least once a year, making it unsuitable for use…’
Learn something new every day!