May 21st, 2008
John Crace’s Digested Read: Cherie Blair
I’m a big fan of John Crace’s Digested Read - where he trawls through a current, much-reviewed book and gives his own synopsis in a few hundred words - in The Guardian. Usually it’s very funny. This week, it’s Cherie Blair’s memoir, Speaking For Myself, and it’s hilarious.
June 2007: Although I hadn’t wanted Gordon ever to become prime minister, I accepted that now was the right time for Tony to go.
“OK, guys, that’s it. Let’s do the business,” Tony said as his fingernails were prised from the No 10 carpet. All that remained was one last photo call. “Fuck the lot of you!” I yelled.
“How could you, Cherie?” Tony hissed. “We’re going to need the Sun and the Times to buy the serialisation.”
He’s usually spot on too, in condensing a dull story, as he was with Alice Sebold’s dreadful The Almost Moon and Neil Strauss’s macho The Rules of the Game (you know, the one that tells men how they can be a Lothario without creeping women out). Of the testosterone-y waffle, he had this to say:
“I didn’t want to write this book. In fact, I am as embarrassed to be writing it as you may be to pick it up. But we are embarrassed for different reasons. I’m embarrassed because I’m being paid a wad of cash to write garbage on how to pick up women. You are embarrassed because you are so desperate you have bought it.”
The full archive of the Digested Read is here. If you haven’t read them before, you’re in for a treat. Be sure to read the Wayne Rooney one.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:16 am
Cecelia Ahern’s latest book produced a great send up too.
PS:I really liked The Almost Moon.Remind me again why you thought it was dreadful?
May 21st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Ah yes, that was another gem.
Re: Almost Moon - really? You’re the first person I know who liked it. I thought it had a completely ridiculous plot, was embarrassingly overwritten, the narrative was disjointed and full of flaws and the characterisation was very poor. I can’t remember the last book that made me cringe for the writer. Sebold also seems to be going over the same ground in each consecutive book, which might be forgiveable if the quality wasn’t going downhill with each book she publishes.
May 21st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
The Neil Strauss one is absolute perfection. Haven’t picked up the Grauniad in a while, thanks for reminding me of one of the best parts.
May 21st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I was never the fan of Alice Sebold that I was told I ought to be. I wasn’t even all that crazy for The Lovely Bones, despite being gifted two copies of it and had it recommended to me by about 9 million people.
I’ve read the occasional Digested Read and loved it laugh out loudily. It’s been a while though. Thanks for reminding me of it! Off for a snoop-see around the archives.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:04 am
Cherie Blair is E.T.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:03 am
Well John Crace’s digested read of Almost Moon is very very funny, and almost enough for me to dis-remember how much I liked it. Read it in a very uncomfortable way, though perhaps this was to do with A projected oedipal desire on my part to kill my own mother (- though I’ll give my fathers bed a miss). I thought at the time that the backlash was to do with the complete coldness of the character and everyone else in the book, but having given away my copy (I didnt like it THAT much) I can’t double-check my judgement.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
[…] Gleeson is always going on about how she loves John Crace’s Digested Read in the Guardian. This is where the witty John retells […]